


Not Like In The Movies

by Koikro55



Series: KK55 Ace-Spec Alastor Collection [1]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous Slash, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Canon Asexual Character, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, No Smut, Pillow Fights, Pillow Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koikro55/pseuds/Koikro55
Summary: Alastor and Husk fight after sex :)[no smut] [Asexuality stuff again, lmao]
Relationships: Alastor/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Radiohusk - Relationship
Series: KK55 Ace-Spec Alastor Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122953
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Not Like In The Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Previously gifted to a misguided individual who thinks Asexuals cannot have sex. There's no excuse to not know what Asexuality is in this day an age. The question is not *whether* Asexuals have sex, but how to represent an Asexual's experience of it, without sexual attraction.
> 
> "Some aces engage in sex for different reasons, yet people act like it's conventional when it's not" –Multbasa (twitter).
> 
> This is a difficult concept for most people to grasp, but Asexuals don’t become Allosexual when participating in typical allosexual activities. That understanding is gravely missing in most discussions of Asexual representation, and, because of that, there’s hardly any representation of grey-A and/or sex non-repulsed Asexuals that doesn’t reduce them to being “basically Allo” in most contexts. This is a small fic, but I hope it helps people understand that Asexuality should not be erased in literally every context possible.
> 
> In this fic, Alastor is the typical Aromantic Asexual (without sexual or romantic attraction) but also sex positive with a functional libido [and just for the sake of it, let’s also say he’s strongly queerplatonic]. If this seems similar to the other two, I actually wrote this one first lol x

Husk's sigh disturbed the silent, empty lobby. He set down his seventh glass of alcohol that morning, not even a little buzzed. The bar wood collected the glass's precipitation, darkened, and swelled. Dust lingered in the air and in Husk's lungs. If Hell was supposed to be some sort of eternal punishment, it was nothing how he'd imagined it. Brimstones? Sure. Fire? Usually. Torment? Well, he'd started dating Alastor, so he only had himself to blame for that one. Eternal, though? Not at all. Husk'd always felt relief in knowing that tickets out of existence drifted down from Heaven once a year to smite a few lucky bastards. Charlie wanted to avoid all that, for reasons only God knew. Her bible-thumping gave the Hazbin a reputation of encouraging “virtues” and “self reflection,” both of which had given Husk a colossal headache over the past few days. He looked at his reflection in the bottle of Cognac resting by his paw, then turned his attention back to organizing playing cards on the bar.

As he studied a well-worn Ace of Hearts in his paw, the Ace of his own heart slid a claw around his shoulder and between his shoulder blades. Husk bit his lip to keep from purring. After several weeks of keeping the relationship tightly under wraps, Alastor was caressing _him_ for once. Suspicious.

The cat looked up from his card and, when meeting the gaze of his smiling boyfriend, blinked. 

“Whadda’ ya’ want?”

Alastor’s smiling lips parted slightly in surprise. He seemed somewhat taken aback.

“Must I _want_ something to entertain my dearest, most handsomest, mostest wonderfulest—"

“Spit it out,” Husk prodded. He filled his cheeks with the Cognac while Alastor hesitated.

“Darling,” Alastor composed himself, “Let’s fuck.”

Husk hadn’t a chance to swallow before liquor evacuated his mouth and spayed onto the face of his enigmatic companion.

Alastor hummed and materialized a handkerchief to clean off his monocle.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Husk asked, beyond annoyed.

“No?” Alastor answered plainly, still drying off.

Husk's expression soured, “Whaddabout that whole fuckin’ speech and a half you gave me when we started dating?”

The bar cat's tone was caught somewhere between accusatory and disbelieving. The memory of their first night as an official couple replayed in his head:

 _”Just so we’re on the same page,” Alastor had said, as he took Husk’s paw in his hand over a romantic candle-lit dinner, “Please understand that I will never, ever, in a million years or longer, until the very day that Hell is plucked from the vine of existence and devoured by the beasts of oblivion, will I ever, **ever** , be sexually attracted to you…. And no, that’s not just because you’re a great big, smelly, hairy ragamuffin, but rather—”_

Alastor scoffed him with a little laugh, cutting off Husk’s imagination.

“I don’t need to be _attracted_ to you to have sex, Husker. Angel Dust entertains women just fine, I’m told, despite his…usual preference of clientele.”

Husk stood and leaned his face over the bar until he could see every individual, pretty eyelash on Alastor’s face. Alastor smiled sweetly at him. The whiskers tickled his cheeks. Husk studied Alastor for any sign that he might be joking, drunk, or otherwise manipulated.

Alastor blew a puff of air into Husk’s face, and the cat sat back again.

“You don’t have to force yourself, though. For my sake.”

“Oh darling." Alastor ran his claws through Husk’s cheeks. “When have you ever known me to be so selfless?”

Husk considered that, unfortunately Alastor made a good point.

“Alright, I guess. You’re lucky my headache’s over.”

Alastor snapped his fingers and Husk suddenly found himself being carried, bridal style, toward Alastor’s bedroom.

“N-now?” Husk asked, shooting a look of longing back towards the cognac getting further and further away. “I might be a little tipsy,” Husk warned his boyfriend.

“Don’t worry about that, darling! I’ve been swapping your liquor for Niffty’s laundry water these past few days,” Alastor chirped, “I thought you’d finally noticed!”

***

With the pleasent afternoon frolic accomplished, Alastor hummed quietly as he stroked a claw through Husk’s sweaty chest. He was partially laying on the cat, watching Husk catch his breath.

“That was…” Husk started.

“Good?” Alastor suggested.

“...different.” Husk decided, lamely.

Alastor paused. Several seconds passed silently.

“Excuse me, dear?” He asked, trying not to sound offended. Was Husk conflicted over something?

Husk took a deep breath,

“Yaknow. You being…so…” Husk winced at what he was about to say. _Abnormal_. “It just wasn’t what I'd expected.”

Alastor sat up and laughed.

“Did you…did you expect this to **not** be any different?”

“Al,” Husk ran a claw through the fur on his forehead, “just give just a minute to process this.”

“I’ve told you what to expect from me a thousand times, Husk.”

“I know, I know, I’m **_sorry!_** But I never thought that something as universal as _sex_ wasn’t just...going to be...exactly the same.”

Alastor levied him with narrow eyes and a smile more akin to a snarl. “Whatever." Alastor rolled off of his bed with a pillow. “You can stay here if you’d please. I’ll be sleeping in your room tonight.”

Husk let out an exasperated breath. “Al, come on. It wasn’t _bad_. I can get used to it.”

Alasor turned and pursed his lips. “What makes you think I’m ever giving you another chance to?”

“That’s fine,” he said.

Alastor threw the pillow back at him. ”You’re an ass.”

“How am _I_ the asshole?" Husk caught the pillow with his face and let it fall off the bed. "I’m only thinking of **your** damn comfort, here, Al.”

“You don’t understand me. At all.”

Husk gave an exasperated growl, "Make up your fucking mind about whether you're asexual or not, because it's starting to piss me off.”

Alastor clenched his jaw. "Is _that_ what you're upset about? News bulletin, darling: I'm still asexual with your cock up my ass."

“Alright, fine, I get it! You might not _feel_ like having sex, but you apparently have sex _anyway_ , when you want to make your partner feel like an absolute fucking tool."

“I actually hate you right now,” Alastor decided.

“Well how do you suppose _I_ feel? Five minutes ago, I thought you were the love of my life!”

“Husker—"

“And then you **laughed at me!** ”

Alastor's face slipped into his palm. "Fuck this," he thought. He couldn't help but to find Husk’s confession in the throws of passion to be charmingly quaint... and equally, fallaciously hilarious.

A long silence fell upon the couple. 

“Why did you laugh?” Husk asked, almost inaudibly.

“We were only having **sex** , Husker.” Alastor responded as gently as he could have. “Excuse me for not having some fucking _spiritual awakening_." 

"Why even fucking bother then?" Husk pouted. 

"Why does anyone do anything?" Alastor teased him, though Husk gave him an expression to curdle milk. "Alright..." Alastor fixed his collar and faced the music. "I don't feel what you want me to feel, but I don't intend for that to hurt you. To me," Alastor began to explain, "this is just two bodies using each other to feel something, the same way everyone else does-– to feel... pleasure? Closeness? Love?" 

("Ha. Right" "I'm speaking hypothetically!") 

"Maybe if it's not for love, maybe it's just a nice distraction. A distraction, sometimes, from the biggest mistake of their lives-- putting a child on the earth who didn’t fucking _ask_ to be broken.” 

“Uhh. Okaaaay,” Husk coughed. “Alastor. That was oddly specific.” 

“Well, it’s just an example,"

“I think you need a hug,” Husk suggested.

“No, not from you.”

“I think you owe me for making me sober up for three days,” Husk mentioned, gently.

“I think not,” Alastor said sitting on the side of the bed next to Husk anyway.

Husk wrapped his tail around Alastor’s waist and slowly coaxed his boyfriend back into his arms.

“You’re not broken,” Husk softly whispered.

“I still hate you,” Alastor mumbled childishly with his limbs wrapped tightly around the cat.

“And I’m still in love with you,” Husk teased him, “so I guess that makes us even.”

Alastor fiddled with a small tuft of fur on Husk’s chest. “You’re not done with me, though, right?” he asked.

“No.” Husk squeezed him. "You were just being yourself, and that’s literally what I signed up for.” Husk lifted his head up to kiss Alastor’s crown. “I’m sorry for forgetting that... and ruining the day”

Alastor hummed to himself. "It’s fine. You probably don’t sleep with many other asexuals. Unless you have something to tell me.”

Husk didn’t feel the need to respond, just tucked his troublesome little deer under an arm and smothered him with a wing.

\----

“You know, I’ve always had suspicions about Angel Dust being ace, too—

“Go to sleep, you dang hobgoblin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Usually, all attempts to show the most basic Asexual representation (without having plausible deniability, or without making sure allosexuals arecomfortable) are rejected by the mantra that “Asexuality is a spectrum.” Yes: the Asexuality Spectrum is between having No Sexual Attraction and Low Sexual Attraction, it is NOT a measure of an Asexual’s conventionality or heteronormativity. The Grey-A can be sex repulsed, too, Karen. “What about Demi?” they then ask: Demisexuality is under the Asexual umbrella because demi folk still share most Asexual experiences: a fact which could be represented in media and respected online if the people asking "what about demi" actually cared about representing demisexuals AS demisexuals. Contextualizing Demisexuals as BEING Asexual is more valuable to the Ace community than laughing at them for being “picky allosexuals,” or using them to legitimize harmful stereotypes and Aphobia. Demisexuals Are Valid and I WILL scratch anyone who says otherwise.
> 
> I know I should be capitalizing Asexual all the time, but I do it for Emphasis. Comments MODERATED........... you know why, lmao.
> 
> My next fic should be a longer, modern 21st century criminal drama Radiohusk fic with frozen yogurt and psychiatric evaluation.


End file.
